It’s so different moving to a new city as an adult and not as a student. Students have built in communities available: you meet people in classes, clubs, around campus, etc. Move as an adult and you know only those from your job and/or the grocery store. It’s a lot harder to build community in a new place as an adult. Add to that the “no new friends” syndrome, (read: as an adult I really hate making new friends. My crew is solid and fly, I don’t want to mess with the balance of my life. Also, new friends are stressful and take work.), and you’re chilling at home all the time. Fine for the introvert, not so much for an extrovert like myself.
I never really thought of myself as an extrovert. I mean, I always knew I wasn’t truly an introvert – I enjoy being around people and making small talk too much. But I thought I was a classic only child (well, at least for the first 12 years of my life – sorry, Little) and great at entertaining myself. I’ve always said that I love being alone, coming home and sitting on the couch alone. And while all of that is true, I’ve come to the understanding that I’m like that when I have the option of having people around. I needed my space because I was spending so much time with other people. This is the first time in my life where I haven’t been busy, or able to make myself busy. Even when I was at home, not really working or doing much, I could find a way to make myself busy – volunteering at church, with community orgs, harassing my friends. Now, there’s no MG to run over and bug. No SW to shadow.
I moved to Las Vegas only knowing 1 person there – my housemate. Granted, she’s a friend from law school and someone with whom I enjoy spending my time…but she’s still just one person. I didn’t think it would be an issue, because I can entertain myself. All true – but I’m bored. I want people. I want to talk to someone and spend time with another person. And my housemate, while amazing, doesn’t have the same personality. So, I’m left sitting and twiddling my thumbs. Yes, in the two months that I’ve been here, I’ve met other people, the vast majority for professional purposes. There are a couple people I call and harass, but I don’t want to wear out my welcome.
I realize how much I took my community for granted.
(and yes, i realize this definitely a “first world problem.”)