All little girls want the approval of their father. Right?
I don’t know. I’ve heard that sentiment bounced around. The studies of how daddy issues negatively impact future relationships. I’ve spoken with men who are upfront with saying that they don’t want a relationship with a woman who has (unresolved) conflict with her father. (Which I understand. Though I don’t quite get how these same men get all up in arms when a woman asks them about their relationship with their parents…)
I think it should be extrapolated beyond just “daddy” issues to parent (or parental figure?) issues. My relationship with my parents is somewhat stilted at best, conflicted at worst. We go back and forth between a state of loving each other and having “happy dinners” and realizing just how far apart we are. Right now? We seem to be in a state of an uneasy truce, predicated upon my being an adult and them accepting me as such. Ionno.
I have seen, though, how my relationship with my parents has spilled over to the rest of my life. The way I accept other relationships, the amount of trust I have, my self-reliance, and reluctance to ask for help. My perfectionism, my need for security. All of these stem from my relationship with my parents.
So, yeah. Watching Scandal for the past couple weeks has triggered some thoughts about parental issues. Because, I thought I had daddy issues? Olivia Pope takes the cake.
Her father has been manipulating her life from the JUMP. He’s had her friends taken, people killed, ruined lives. As I watch, I can see how Olivia’s unhealthy responses to so many people stems from the craziness of her relationship with her father. Pope and Associates? The family she doesn’t have. Fitz? The man she can’t understand who’s out of her reach (hi dad), that’s she’s trying to bring close. Her need to save others and “wear the white hat?” Her desire to prove that she’s not her father.
Unfortunately, there’s no easy answer to these kinds of issues. If we could separate our current selves from our families, we wouldn’t be us. If I didn’t have the madness of my family, I wouldn’t appreciate the loyalty of my friends. If Olivia didn’t know her dad was THE O.G., she wouldn’t be helping so many people.
I suppose, as with Scandal, we just take the good with the bad. Dig deep, trust God, and pull the blessings from the muck.