ignore the rambling and musing. this is really a train of thought, stream of consciousness, thinking aloud type thing…
Someone came up to me the other day and said that they read this and relate to it. I was taken waaaayyyy aback. You read my blog? You relate to my random rantings and ravings? you care?
My visceral reaction: %&($# someone besides my 3 friends is paying attention to me; i better live my life right.
That’s a statement I’ve made so many times to my little bits (that would be the cousins, baby sis, and streetleaders). I’ve told them, over and over, about how connected the world is and that you never ever know who knows who. Live your life right, because when you least expect it, someone will know someone who will tell a story about you. Live your life right NOW so it doesn’t eff you up in the future.
I thought about the people I admire, many of whom probably have no idea that I watch and admire them. I thought about the compliment I could give them – “you know, I really want to be you when I grow up” – and then asked why that’s a compliment.
This past weekend I was at a forum, repping my school. I was shocked when a girl said she recognized me from the website. ME?? Truthfully, I forgot I was on the thing. I legit forgot about it – and now I was thinking “Oh, God, what now?”
No, she reassured me, she wanted to go to the school because she saw me.
i wear 4 rings, 3 never come off, one on a chain when the mood strikes me. my rings have meaning.
one is my purity ring, purchased when i bought one for my little sister. I told her to aspire to be a woman like Ruth. A woman who was spoken of by all, and attracted her husband, because she was recognized to have great virtue and nobility.
one is my mother’s wedding ring. my parents divorced and i asked for the ring – for me, it is a reminder that at some point, they loved each other. it’s a reminder that i was brought into this world in love, and that, sadly enough, love can end if it goes unnurtured and supported. it is a reminder to love, deeply and with great forethought and commitment. to choose to love so no child of mine is left wearing my wedding ring.
the other two belonged to my grandma’s and great-grandmas. both are very simple, really just a gold band. they passed it down, first to my mom then to me. it reminds me that i am a product of generations. i truly stand on the shoulders of giants. i am not an island, even when i am alone.
i think sometimes about passing on these rings – will i have daughters? i think about the future – what will those generations following say about me?
admiration, while encouraging, while satisfying, comes with great pressure. live your life right.